hate is indeed a four letter word
love is blind. not hate.
people say hate is too harsh a word, and the truth is that it is. the complex mixture of emotions that can be found within a person when they truly hate another, how these feelings urge a responsive action, how much it occupies your mind, the disturbance, the reasoning you do with yourself over and over in your head.
i know i use the word carelessly. i hate this, i hate that. i hate science, i hate math. i hate water that isn't iced, i hate mondays, i hate my shoelaces becoming undone, i hate superficiality. i hate this person, i hate that person. where the truth is, now that i've taken a moment to think about it, i've really only truly hated six people in my lifetime.
the last person added to that list, was only just four or so months ago.
i honestly don't like the feeling. it can bring me from happy to distressed in a split second. it makes me feel dark, and cruel inside. it makes me feel cruel. it makes me contemplate the situation over and over, it makes me consider the possibilities if i never stepped into the picture. it makes me question the values of this person, why it was worth it to deceive me, to protect her. for the truth to be sugar coated.
it is still unsolved. it will remain unsolved. and i think it's withdrawing from the love that i have.
p/s just reblog other .
